


Sleeping With Ghosts

by CruelKittenThesis



Category: CLAMP - Works, Tokyo Babylon, X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: Angst, Canon - Manga, Dream Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Mutual dream, Porn Without Plot, unhealthy relationship, unreality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 10:00:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4915177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CruelKittenThesis/pseuds/CruelKittenThesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Subaru and Seishirou share a dream. SeiSub.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleeping With Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> This took me way longer to write than I intended. I somewhat blame the existence of this fic on all the Murakami novels I have read lately. The title of the fiction is taken from the song of the same name, by Placebo. This is the longest one shot I have ever written.

Seishirou never dreamed. At least, he never had any dreams he could remember for long, and even when he did remember them, they were always vague, washed out and uninteresting scenes, quickly forgotten in a moment. 

This scene, however, was something brand new. It was Subaru, soft, warm and so alive, with blood flowing through his veins, wrapped up in a blanket and sleeping on a bed in the middle of the room. 

The room, itself, didn't seem real, it was a barren thing, like something tacked on as a note in a rough draft. An afterthought. There was no life or thought put into it, because the place itself didn't matter, it only existed because it was needed to be somewhere, other than no where.

Even the bed and sheets, themselves, didn't seem real. They were realer than the room, but even they were like a sketch of what a bed with sheets should be. There was nothing wrong with them, but it was if you created a bed and sheets based off of a description of them. They had no substance, only existing because at that moment, they needed to exist. 

Subaru himself, though, was the realist thing Seishirou had ever experienced in a dream. The soft way his chest moved with every exhaled breath, the way his lips were barely parted, the way the black strands of his bangs were slightly disheveled.

Seishirou curiously walked over to the sleeping man, and reached a hand forward to stroke his cheek. It was warm, and he felt Subaru twitch sleepily, subconsciously leaning into the touch. 

Subaru was truly adorable, Seishirou thought to himself. He was well aware that the real Subaru hated him now, after all, it was the only logical option. 

However, this is a dream, and it shouldn't cause harm, Seishirou thought as he gently kissed Subaru. His lips were soft, and he squirmed lightly when Seishirou pulled away, making a small, "mpf," noise. Extremely adorable. 

The smaller man's eyes slowly opened, and he blinked, confused, "Seishirou-san?" His eyes were dull green, almost grey, and remembering how brightly they used to shine, made his chest twinge with a coldness he was unaccustomed to, the knowledge that he was the pollution that had covered the brightest stars in the sky. 

He gave Subaru his artificial smile, as sweet as poisoned honey, "Hello, Subaru-kun." 

"Why are you here?" Subaru tried to answer in a way that made him sound indifferent, but instead he sounded more like a startled rabbit. 

"This is my dream, is it not?" Seishirou cocked his head, "I could ask you the same thing. But you're probably not even real." 

Subaru looked down feeling the weight shift unexpectedly as Seishioru sat down on the bed, "What if you're what's fake?"

Seishirou leaned forward and kissed Subaru again, this time with more force. Subaru didn't refuse him, instead he grabbed Seishirou's tie as the larger man attempted to pull away, and pulled him back, softly pressing their lips together for the third time. 

Subaru nearly squeaked when Seishirou licked lightly at his lips, his mouth still shut, unknowing how to despond properly. "Open your mouth," Seishirou calmly told him, and Subaru opened his lips the slightest bit, allowing Seishirou inside. 

It was an odd feeling, warm and moist, and it sent shocks through his body. Subaru let out a moan, feeling himself get uncomfortably hot. 

Seishirou laughed as their kiss ended, "Excited from just one kiss? How like you, Subaru-kun." He pulled the blankets covering Subaru off, to prove his point.

Subaru looked away, flushed and unable to look at Seishirou's face, "Y-you're the one who made me this way." He sounded far more guilty and shy, like a child caught with a glossy paged racy magazine, than he sounded accusing. 

"Oh?" Seishirou grinned the grin of a fox about to devour a cornered rabbit, "Then, my dear, allow me to take responsibility." He leaned forward to kiss his smaller love, before taking a large hand, and carefully unbuttoning the cottony pajama top, tossing it ungracefully off the bed. 

Subaru shivered and balled his hands into nervous fists, feeling very exposed, but refusing to give in to his shyness and cover himself. He bit his lip, as he felt Seishirou's hands traveling up his stomach and chest. Everywhere those hands touched, his body burned and ached, craving more and more. He felt like he was going to die, when he felt Seishirou place little kisses along his chest. 

"Your nipples are hard," Seishirou noted, with a clear amount of smugness in his voice, as he tweaked one between his thumb and index finger. Subaru cried out. Seishirou smirked, and took the other nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking greedily. 

Subaru continued to moan, and Seishirou took his free hand and palmed Subaru though his thin pajamas. Being both incredibly shy, and somewhat repulsed by the idea of being touched by anyone other than Seishirou, this was the most he'd ever been touched by anyone. A few times, Subaru had tried to meet other boys with the intention of fucking the memories of Seishirou away, but he couldn't kiss them, couldn't get much farther than being stripped bare before Seishirou would be the only thing that occupied his thoughts, and he'd sob, his sullied heart aching for the one who dirtied it. He had had crushes on attractive men, before he met Seishirou, but now he was the only one who could ever make him crave and ache. 

The assault upon his nipples, and the wandering hands paused. With an exhaled breath, long fingers pushed down the waistband of Subaru's pants, sliding them down too thin legs. Subaru let them be thrown off, though a part of him wished they were there, to cover his ugly body. 

"Would you like to be sucked off?" Seishirou looked up at him with mild curiously. 

Subaru swallowed thickly, taken aback, somewhat surprised anyone would want to do something like that in the first place, "Isn't that gross? Doesn't it taste bad?"

"Not really, there are much more vile things," Seishirou answered nonchalantly. "And I'm sure you'd taste sweet."

Subaru repressed the urge to roll his eyes, but he had redder all the same, and turned his face away. "I," he began, but never got the chance to finish before feeling himself suddenly enveloped, whatever was left of the sentence quickly turned into a moan. 

Seishirou was very good at this, his mouth hot and skilled, and Subaru felt lost, mindless, thrusting helplessly into him. He toes curled, and his hands clutched the bed sheets in desperation as he felt himself come, far too fast. He'd only lasted a few minutes.

His body felt incredibly lax, he felt like a machine that had suddenly been switched off, and he lay languidly. If Seishirou's mouth hadn't been full, he would've laughed, but instead he didn't take his mouth away until Subaru had finished ejaculating. 

Long fingers lifted Subaru's dazed head up, and he felt himself being kissed, before coughing in horror, as warm liquid dripped into his mouth and down his throat. 

"See?" Seishirou smiled at him happy and stratified, like a cat who'd ripped apart a canary and gouged itself on organs and blood, "You don't taste bad."

Subaru's eyes were wide with humiliation, "T-that was," he paused lacking words, "Disgusting!" For a moment Subaru looked like his younger self, a cute boy who could be flustered by the lightest touches, who dreamed of being a zookeeper and loved ice cream. 

Seishirou chuckled, but before Subaru could make any sort of response, he trapped his prey, kissing him roughly. For a moment, Subaru felt like he was being eaten alive, and found himself less horrified by the idea than he should.

"Your clothes," Subaru mumbled, still breathing heavily from having been kissed so deeply. 

"Hmm. What about them?" Seishirou rubbed a hand against Subaru's penis, getting him hard again, laughing as Subaru moaned helplessly.

Subaru answered weakly, "Y-ou. You're wearing too many clothes."

Seishirou let go of Subaru for a moment, to tug at his tie, "And what would you like me to do about that?"

Subaru looked at the bare, insubstantial walls, knowing full well what he was being goaded into, and swallowing, "I want you to take off your clothes."

"Anything for my beloved Subaru-kun," the older man quickly stripped out of his suit, not bothering to fold it, before tossing it off the bed. 

Subaru's eyes widened, at the sight of Seishirou's naked body, clearly kept in the top condition because of his work, toned muscles and healthy skin. A stark contrast to Subaru's own tiny, skinny frame, pale, and littered with scars too neat and straight to be accidents. He had the urge to cover himself, now more than ever, as the now naked assassin gave his body a deep inspection for the first time.

"So, I want to ask, what are these?" Seishirou ran a finger down a pale scar on Subaru's leg, curiously, as Subaru looked away, uncomfortable. "You must have been careless to have allowed yourself to get injured like this."

Subaru stayed quiet, embarrassed and ashamed, as Seishirou prodded on, "That's not the way the head of Sumeragi clan should behave, you know? I would think you would be more careful, didn't you ever pay attention to what your dear grandmother taught you?" Seishirou's teeth were gritted, and his smile looked almost feral, an angry wolf ready to bite, "Who was able to injure you like this? They must have has been quite power-"

"No one!" Subaru yelled, desperate to get Seishirou to stop. 

Seishirou gripped Subaru's right arm, and pulled it forward, "These were clearly made by someone."

"I did it," The words slipped out almost silently, and Subaru bit his lip as soon as they left his tongue.

Seishirou's face slipped for a second, a brief flash of confusion, before he kissed the scared arm, slowly running his tongue down each one. "Why?" He asked, between a kiss.

Subaru moaned helplessly, and squirmed, half from shame, half from arousal. "Because it hurt, and I was sad." 

"Hokuto-chan would be upset with you," Seishirou said, as he moved his body to be closer to Subaru's, skin against skin, noses touching, and breath mixing into one space.

Subaru flinched, not sure if from his dead twin's mention, or the way he was pinned against Seishirou.

Seishirou leaned down, kissing Subaru, slowly, almost, but not quite, gently. Subaru bucked his hips on impulse, moaning when their erections rubbed together. Seishirou grunted, and bit down on Subaru's neck, relishing the flinch he gave in a mixture or pleasure and pain. He licked the new bruise, and gave Subaru a dozen more.

Subaru whimpered, "Seishirou-san... Please..."

Seishirou smirked at him, and rubbed their hips together again.

"Seishirou-san!" Subaru gasped, "I want.." He trailed off again.

Seishirou laughed, voice think and heavy, "What do you want, my dear Subaru-kun?" 

"I want," Subaru began, before shaking his head slightly, "No, I need." He paused, swallowing, "I need you, inside of me."

Seishirou looks pleased, and grabbed a bottle of lubricant that had seemed to materialize on the bedside table. After coating his fingers, he massaged the entrance, while Subaru squirmed in a mixture of fear and need, shivering in anticipation. 

Subaru gasped as one finger entered him, the coldness of it making him shiver. It didn't feel good, but it didn't feel bad, it just felt strange. Then, it moved inside of him, starting slowly, before moving at a quicker pace. Subaru whimpered at the change, and, slowly, the digit started to feel pleasurable. 

However, before it could really cause much pleasure, it was pulled out. Before a protest could be raised, however, something else was pressed against him, something longer and thicker. 

Seishirou picked up Subaru's small hands, almost feminine looking, though with bitten nails tinged from too many cigarettes, and kissed them, as if in reference to some twisted fairy tale, "You're mine."

Subaru lips curled up, ever so slightly, the tiniest smile from a precious bride, to the prince of a kingdom of death and flowers, "I'm yours."

Seishirou placed his hand over Subaru's own, holding it gently, then Seishirou pushed inside of him, and all of Subaru tensed up. He was unused to the pressure, unused to having been filled up with someone else, but part of him was very glad to have finally become one with the one he held so dear, and his muscles loosened. He felt strangely at ease. 

A minute passed before Seishirou began to move. Subaru lips parted, and the faintest of moans slipped out. It was slow, almost too slow, and very drawn out and deliberate. "More, faster!" Was the only coherent thought he could voice, and Seishirou was all too eager to comply, quickly picking up speed and pushing inside, interlocking their fingers tightly together as he did so.

It felt so good, Subaru had wanted this connection, with this person, for so long, his entire being aching and burning for him, wanting to melt into him. He couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else, loving anyone else, and briefly he wondered if he had been born to fall in love with this person, to become one with him, to be used and tainted by him. He was crying, from his overworked heart, moaning Seishirou's name over and over, never letting go of his hand.

Seishirou was moaning deeply, his head buried into Subaru's shoulder. He bit down on the pretty skin, hard enough to break it, licking the small beads of blood that spilled. Subaru seemed to enjoy it, from the way his body spasmed, and his cute moaning. 

Seishirou smiled, "Masochist." 

"I-It's y-your fault," Subaru managed to say, having difficulty speaking with coherency.

"You're so cute," Seishirou's one eye was gleaming with laughter, and he kissed Subaru again, eating up every cute noise he made.

As their kiss broke, Seishirou's movements got more erratic, and he squeezed the hand that he still held. "I'm going to come," he breathed out. 

He did. He looked truly beautiful doing so, his face full of emotions so rare, his smile, his one beautiful eye, his rough moaning, the way this scene was for Subaru, and only Subaru. He had interlocked their fingers, and he had squeezed tightly the whole time. 

Warmth spread inside of Subaru, and, at the same time, Seishirou used his free hand to stoke Subaru into orgasm. His small body trembling, crying, and then releasing. 

Pulling out of him, Seishirou rolled next to him, finally letting go of his hand, and warped his arms around the shaking body next to him, "Shh. Subaru-kun."

"I love you," Subaru sobbed, his voice sore, "I love you so much."

"Subaru-kun." Seishirou stroked his back gently.

"So why?" Subaru cried, "Why did you have to die?"

Seishirou's eyes seemed to widen, briefly, as is remembering things forgotten. He pressed a kiss to Subaru's forehead, "You're really too kind, you shouldn't have fallen in love with someone like me. But, I suppose, because you are so kind, I fell in love with you, as well."

 

..........

 

Subaru, the Sakurazukamori, awoke in his bed. His body aching and his heart full, he staggered, almost falling, to the window, opening it and looking out. 

Sunlight drifted through the trees, cherry petals looking like pure white snow, innocent and pure. When the sun was brighter, the mask of innocence would be washed away, and reveal their blood stains, but for now, the blossoms seemed content to pretend. It was a beautiful day, and somewhere, in the distance, too far for Subaru to see, a building collapsed, killing many. The Final Day was nearing. 

Subaru touched the eye Seishirou had given to him, that lived on with him, "Seishirou-san, I miss you."

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I should point out, that because I don't have a computer, I type all my fictions out using my phone, and at one point in time, I had, "Dear Seishirou," autocorrected corrected to, "Dead Seishirou."


End file.
